The Initiative Initiative

Marvin Sparkes was the team leader and he was not wearing his scuba gear
The conference was at the Sumptuous Towers International Ho/Motel in Downtown Los Angeles
The room sat 250 people and 18 non-people
Pastry table: Intact
Orange juice dispensers: Full
Weak-ass coffee jugs: Who the fuck cares?
Napkins: Seemingly wax-coated squares incapable of drying a single teardrop...plenty of these shits
LCD Projectors improperly configured: All

We were VIP, so we were told to ignore the registration table
Once we finished with our steam-table gourmet breakfast (with the ketchup bowl)
We were sent to the conference
The registration table workers were unaware of our VIP status
And asked us to sign in

Though we felt violated, we signed in
The conference room held scads of people
Who had missed out on the ketchup bowl
So we signed in, knowing we didn't really have to
Nevertheless, we persevered

The Admiral took the podium and began speaking
After an uncomfortable 30 seconds
The microphone was switched on

His message was clear:

Find that trout!