Which got him to wondering why the shape of an average date
Along with the placement of the date in his mouth
Would trigger within him uncomfortable feelings
He would wriggle out the pit with his tongue
And imagine he was free to dance with the men around him
He pictured the exhausted group shedding their sweat-soaked garments
And then fucking each other a whole bunch
These thoughts drove the new king bananas
So he devised a plan to change the masculine nature of the fruit of the date palm
By having an Irish pharmaceutical company
Pump tens of thousands of gallons of cruelly-derived estrogen
Directly into the Kufra Basin Aquifer
King Idris believed that within a few years
He would be able to savor a plump and luscious date
And be free to think about politics and weather patterns
Instead of his fairly graphic homoerotic fantasies
The plan didn't work to change the fruit's effects
Which drove the king totally bananas
And he swore he would never again eat another date
His health had steadily deteriorated since being overthrown in 1969
He had kept his pledge to avoid eating dates
Until in 1983 while on his deathbed, the king called out to his nurse
"A date, please. I would like a date."
The stereotypically sexy female nurse smiled and wagged her index finger at him
And called him a "naughty boy"
The king died a short while later
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